I've learned that I put too much
responsibility for my happiness on things and people that can't
possibly give it to me. It's almost as if I only have the capacity to
love that which I cannot have for one reason or another. But even
after I have realized this...I cannot let go. Every time that I try
to release myself, there comes this little voice that chants "you never
really got your chance", and I am forced to keep going in this
endless game of inner tag.

It is a game in which the other person
can far outrun me, and has no desire to be caught, even in the
spirit of the game. I know I'll keep running, doggedly, until I collapse
of exhaustion. Only then will I see the one who wished to
play, running past me, to another.